07 February 2012
3 truths and a lie
I had a dream last night that I was standing in for someone at one of those events where they toss a bad person/hero into a cave and onlookers watch as a hideous monster battles the victim. In my case, the hideous monster was a very distinct, shiny black bird—the size of an ostrich, with colored rings around its eyes and a long, sharp serrated beak used for killing its prey. Like the victims in the movies or the Bible, I too escaped, but only by waking up, and not before witnessing a few of these tenacious avifauna overcome other victims. Note: My impression above is cartoon-y, but in the dream it was very real—like CG effects real. Yes, I just used virtual terms to describe real.
One of the awesome things about pregnancy is remembering details from dreams, though they are not very often coherent to a story line. I feel like a bad mother for not documenting more about this pregnancy. It could be related to the fact that I have hardly felt pregnant at all. (Thank you thank you knock on wood thank you). But this next Baby K deserves better. So I am announcing that I am actually going to try to go update that baby blog some more. I've thought about it a lot, but telling you (whoever you are) might make me more accountable. And that goes for updates on Cohen too. He's 1 now, you know. It was on the docket to do a birthday tribute for him, but I already know there's no way to express anything through just words. Yeah, yeah, "anything's better than nothing," I know. I'll get on that too.
I have been dancing around the idea of somehow earning money with my talents. There is a healthy debt looming behind Ben's schooling and I feel there's got to be something I can do about it. I get really fired up to do it about every other month, but after 18 months-ish, I have nothing to show for it. I guess I could name several excuses why it hasn't happened, but I don't know which is the real stumbling block. If you know me like my mother does, you know there's some dumb stubbornness about me that wants to to it right and well the first time. Start out small and learn slowly by mistakes until I get better and better? Ha! This principle applies to too much in my life, but I'm hoping the accountability principle will help me out here too. If you are reading this, please keep an eye out for something whereby you might help dollars be delivered to yours truly. I promise to exchange for something authentic. Probably done with my hands.
My house is so immaculate lately. I just feel motivated every day and it's no big deal. Everything is decorated the way I want and I really feel like I've made this house a home. I was always the messy one growing up, but I don't know, something's changed and I just live the good life of tidiness now. We never watch spiders make webs in the corner, we haven't caught 7 mice this year (compared to last year's 8), and we never hear raccoons wrestling above us nor do we ever see them peering in on us against our window. We never leave dirty dishes out, dirty clothes never touch the floor, everything is in its right place and I just feel so uplifted by it.
Post Edit: I guess I'm a better liar than I thought. I know they're really long, but these paragraphs are indeed part of the get-to-know-you game of 3 truths and a lie. Sorry for misleading you. Wanna play?