23 March 2012

it's coming

This is my overall feeling today. I think I thought of it first as my birthday—an impending due date I'd given myself to have made some concrete, tangible progress—like that you could see—on that looming goal to "share/use my talents to help/benefit others" and possibly help our own financial negatives. (A creative exercise above—my contribution to the cause today.)

But it could also be the certain gift from my very kind and generous family. (The shipment notification email said it would arrive today!) Or, more profoundly, it could mean the bouncing baby boy in my belly that will be here in less than three months. He has somehow skipped out of my brain lately—despite lots of amusing "skipping" inside me. Maybe it is a subconscious detour I take around thinking about the next few months, because there is either too much or too little to think about being that plans are so uncertain. But today, I'm oh-so-aware, loving reading about babies coming and feeling nothing but excitement for what is to be our greatest "life adjustment" to date, or so they say.

It could also be summer. Yes, March is most decidedly a spring month no matter where you go—even in Utah where it still snows, but the equinox says it's spring, so you believe it. Here in NC, feeling a sweat inside and having to close the windows and turn on the noisy AC unit means that it feels more like summer though, and I'm sort of dreading it.

Summer, this year, also means a few sure its that are also coming:

  • My brother's wedding!
  • And so, our voyage back to the home state.
  • And so, leaving this one-bedroom "loft on the flower farm," to put it romantically.
  • And so, a move, with all the packing and gutting and deciding-what-to-keep or how-to-keep that a move entails.

Eek, I remember why I was choosing to live more ignorantly. Or at least focus on the next two things coming: the end of the boy's nap and the midwife appointment soon thereafter, which will be preceded by a campus drop-off where my boys can share a lunch together so that I can lay and listen to a mini-heartbeat without trying to figure out how the toddler should fit on the bed with me.

Lots of its coming; better get a move on.